ALLISON HAS TRUST ISSUES LIKE PALM SPRINGS HAS PALM TREES.

She lives in the Bay Area
some confuse it for
grey area

I'm feeling fine
or at least not unwell
I finished some paintings
I hope to sell
to art collectors
that speak and spell,
with a dignified air,heir apparent
there,there,there

O no,she fell
please don't yell
you silly goose,
you empty shell
I'm gonna sell
from kingdom come
to hell.

- ABH

24 September 2010

carped

disdainful and aloof

one minute
flirty and coy the next
and for a few minutes
I allow myself
my foolish self
to believe you are not
telling the same crap
to some other sucker
in some other room.

- Alfred Huete


04 October,2010

then the door closed

 

So pale under glass
so many days like tomorrow
your red hair I remember
as well as anything,I suppose
none ov my memories remain clean
all so rotton,all displeased
nonsensical,execrating and final
this is jail,this is a madhouse
those are your shadows
after all these years your shadow
is still present in every room
I see the shadow ov your hourglass figure
and I curse you for cheating
we were supposed to die together
escape together,bleed out as one,
you cheated me out of a proper death
a quick death,a painless death
you left a mess.

-Alfred Huete
04 October,2010

the whore at the end ov the light

 

she was young

and more aware
ov her youth
than anybody should ever be
her stockings had holes
her make up was caked
she cursed like a sailor
and fucked like
the open sea
she sang to me
after I paid her
she was a force
a virgin,a chore
she was as brilliant
as anybody ever was
those nights I cherish
those nights were as peaceful
as eye opening as pure
as a new born
that whore was more poetic
than anything city lights ever
ever published or rejected
I wish I had asked her name.

-Alfred Huete

04 October,2010

feel,yeah.

eye to eye
I can't see you
touch your thighs
I can't feel you
seen too much
you would not believe me
love your ass
can you free me ?
feel your pee
it flows between us
boom box blasting Nas
so much static between us
sometimes I want kill you
sometimes I want to fill ya
if this is love,I wish you would tell me
just be fair,will ya ?

-Alfred Huete
05 October,2010

Where Are You ?

 

Where are you ? I am so tired of searching for you, love. These girls just want to hook up. Look up.Get their bellies and egos fed. They do not care to kiss my soul or be soul kissed; they think spreading their legs is all I want or else it's all they have to offer.I want more,I want it all,I want you.I'll wait for you but love, I get so bored and restless waiting to hold your hand and walk down the street proud to call you my girl.I know you are creative, intelligent, and inspiring,and that every time I sink into your eyes I forget that I know how to swim.I want to drown inside you and be reborn over and over again.Where are you ?

You know me in some capacity...

I'm that someone that will bless you when you sneeze...I'll wait til you get inside before I drive off.... I'll stay around for more than one night...I'll push you to be a better person by helping you to strive for more, keep you level and calm you down when you get paranoid or frustrated or dramatic...help you to realize that you are beautiful just the way you are and that your words are valid, I'll accept you for you, care for you, love you, take care of you by helping you to take care of yourself... I'll be your rock and I will dance with you ... I'll take great photographs with my camera of you ... I'll comfort you in the night when you have  nightmares or anxious shakes ... I'll listen... I'll understand and if I don't I will listen as you make me understand... I'll make you actually like sex...I'll teach you the difference between fucking and making love,both great but both vastly different... I'll be strong and always think you are beautiful... you can grab my hair when I go down... I'll go down and crave to please you ... and you will want to please me and you will...I'll never stray or look away... I am yours... you are  mine... we don't play games but we do play with each other... yes, I will actually love you as nobody can or has and you will see I was meant for you,and you for me... we will sing... we will play... we will never let life break us...you will wonder why it took me so long to find you and I will tell you that I don't know but I found you,at last... yes, I could be yours ... and you  mine.. and we could finally be happy after all this time...
but where are you ?

ROB

YOU really did it this time,"COMRADE" you fucked yourself over and more thoroughly than anyone else ever could.Bravo,fucking bravo.

I was nothing but a true friend to you & what do you do (?) you make my GF cry.She is no dummy & as such saw the real you AT ONCE  it's a shame I did not see it ages ago,better late than never,I suppose.

1.) When everyone deleted you I did not.You were one of the very few people I have ever considered a friend too bad you were just using me to get INFO on Amy.NOT cool,man,NOT cool at all.


2.) When everyone was happy you and Amy broke up,I was not.I did EVERYTHING I could for you two in hopes you would get back together.I stayed neutral for the most part as I considered you both friends THAT said my loyalty lies with Amy above most people,it was idiotic of you to think otherwise.


3.) I know your game well now.You tell Amy to move on that you have then you go LOCO on anyone moronic enough to keep you as a friend.YOU.LIE.and you bloody well know it.I never lied to you about a damn thing but in your paranoid mind EVERYONE lies to you and is out to destroy you.GET.OVER.YOURSELF.Everyone else has,dude.

Do NOT bother with your half ass I'm sorries.I don't need someone like you in my fucking life,I have my plate full I have cut you enough slack.I don't hate you or anything and the fact is I honestly wish you well.Check yourself you don't want to die due to your demons and miss out on Leah's future milestones.You bravely fought in a war for our country now fight for your life.I'm not taking  blocking you lightly,I did care,if I did not trust me I have better things to do with my limited time than to type you a long note using only one finger but bloody hell,you just push everyone away.Don't you see that? I'm not the enemy here Rob,nor is Amy.That girl give it her all and in the end,for what? We are not all that different you & I.I have my demons,my suicidal days,my anger at this toilet earth but DAMN IT ALL if you don't make me look all flowers and sunshine.Think about that.You make me see look like the male version of Mary Poppins or at least the drag queen version.GET.A.GF. As hard as the fairer sex can be at times and believe NOTHING destroys and NOTHING creates better than girls but they are at the very least a needful thing and can be a sort of salvaion.So go out and get a woman.

MOVE.ON.It's clear why you keep ANYONE as a 'friend' on here,it's so you can have a connection with Amy,no matter how small.It's why you will not delete Bexi ( Becky) or Mario Chavez.MOVE ON.

OK,that's that.Think whatever the fuck you want,think Amy "poisoned" all our minds,lie to yourself,lie to me,lie to her,lies,lies,lies.It's rare that only one person ruined a relationship but you came damn close.Amy is NOT with you because you did NOT want her to be AND yes sometims it IS that B&W.

You are an intelligent man get your head out of your ass and beat your demons or at the very least be aware of them,trust me they are keenly aware of you.

So long,
             Alfred

05 November 2010

poem for jessine ( the day ov jessine )

Standing on a word basking in your beauty while the iron buds in the garden are glowing lost on a wing as the the music is slowing you barely seem of this time my mind is blowing heaven is just another word for you seems sad the world is not a better place I wish it was,I do.
Jessine bathes in the moonlight birds fly low just for a look,butterflies too

O, oh, oh, Jessine
How swiftly you changed my mind I rise up and say goodbye to no one in particular your tongue with hearts and words lenticula rI see the future in your skin as I see fire within I fly high by the light of your beauty just steps ahead ov the executor
Jessine dances to the antichrist's tune fly high Jessine October is just another excuse for June

O, oh, oh,Jessine

I see your face in the clouds as sure as you see your sister alone in crowds, you’re a dream twister you’re going to go as far as you want as long as you avoid martyrs and tommorow's mister
Jessine dances to the antichrist's tune birds fly low and in wonder of her bathing in the light of the moon

O, oh, oh, Jessine
don't listen to the preacherlet love under will be your only teacheronly magik could’ve carved out your featuresyou take me to a new placedreaming near the stars as I face the future
O, oh, oh, Jessine


The beautiful the sick and the lameall seek the same, who is loved in the end is uncertainchains and common men, tear gas, padlocksyou behind every curtainsin webs low as they spinin a past that's hurtin'
Jessine dances to the antichrist's songher head back,her legs longnothing she does could ever be wrongov that,I'm certain

O, oh, oh, Jessine

I'm a lost soul in the streets, skies are slippery grey no more needs to be said today,lay by my side,hey babe,as your perfect foot leans over the edge of the bed I would slit throats, put the blade to my head,yesterday,today make Jesus  into  starlet blue one more harlot,time means nothing to you

O, Jessine, you know what I need O, Jessine, you don’t show any respond and even God is just a lost pup in the pound lost in the speed ov you,
O, oh, oh, Jessine.
- Alfred Huete
09 October,2010 ( The Day Ov Jessine )

I Often Find Myself In Want Ov You

Lay on my bed

do you love me,
your nakedness swimming
through my head
no where else I'd rather be
no one has a thing on me,
not the living,not the dead
if there is a meaning to life
it's your blonde curls
or the kisses that I'm fed
as I pull the collar closer
as our skin goes red,ser lest ser.

Look into my eyes
as I spread your thighs
spit in my mouth,
I love the taste of your lies
I’m wicked pleasure,
its cruel how fast time flies
every inch of your body I will treasure.

If I believed in God
I would flip you ove
and bite your ass til your blood turned to wine...

Press your body against mine
as we come together in rhyme
I'll take you to another time
in some quaters
our passions would be deemed a crime
23 chimes,sign ov the times
let's stay unholy together,
lust with me forever.


- Alfred Huete

the marrow in her bones hissed like a self-inflicted wound ( small talk for colored birds )

 

and 
I
suck on her toes
and
she cures the wounds on my soul

and

I
feast on her ass
as Wagner leads
a nazi mass

and

I

spread her legs
as my face turns blue
smoke
surrenders on cue

have you ever
been in love
were you happy
did it show

was the window far too broken
was my cock a tad too much
did you feel the sweat on my brow
as you were choking me
was your piss a form ov talk
was I gentle,could you taste the walk

a taste ov wet gold
as the fire dreams
ov places

and

when did you realize
that there are worse things than hate

and

is it too late
to show mercy

and

how long can I wait ?

- Alfred Huete

10.10.10

bang bang goes her red god

 

 inside my raptured mind
 the demons speak in tongues
 her song,her siren's song
 I hear down the hall
 she gigles like shadows
 long and tall
 one ceiling four wall
 I turn the pillow
 to the cool side
 she is a hungry prayer
 I hide
 behind
 everything burning
 everything new/old
 everything,everything,nothing
 and fall on the belly
 of an old woman
 remembering her
 whoring bird days

 I want a steady earthquake
I want dry rain
I want to fuck  every cross-eyed bastard
as I ponder about
 the gods between us.

- Alfred Huete
03 November,2010

she

as she
smiles
touches
leaps
the
demons
disappear. 

-Alfred Huete

10.10.10

HUMANS

Good morning gang! Everyone have a nice Halloween? Can you believe Thanksgiving is just a few weeks away? Do you celebrate Dia De Los Muertos  because if you don't you should (!!!) because what makes more sense than wasting food on the dead almost as stupid as wasting my time trying reach some kind of pact with the world.You spread you legs Mother MISTAKE ONE Your Catholic guilt prevented you from aborting me MISTAKE TWO You don't get that God is not great nor am I MISTAKE THREE  O Mother,I was really saying somthing.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I don't like my fellow hairless apes very much.It's been a life long issue with me and I believe I wasted decades trying to resolve said issue.I throw in the towel.It's a filthy towel and here's WHY:

* LIES.They fukk everything up.We lie to each other about everything and for what? Money?Love?Greed?Sex?Acceptance?WHY did YOU lie to the last person YOU lied to? Was telling the truth too much of an inconvenience? Did it boost you ego? Did it give you a spine or a hard on.Did the person you lie to not deserve the truth ? Do you?  Are you a coward? Is your God letting you down? Does anyone ever lie to others more than they lie to themselves?  WHY?

* FEAR. It destroys everything.It makes everything worthy of destruction.We fear each other & I'm all but convinced that we bloody well should.We are idiots to trust each other and we are idiots not too.You need not fear me my friends you lot are a lot of things but you are not my friends.

* EGO. Too many humans honestly believe the world revolves around them.It does not.Simple common sense,no? Ego pushes common sense & common decency out,it needs the room.EGO rarely says I'm sorry and when it does it's to boost itself.Someone has too.No?

* POWER. It always ends up smelling funny.It stinks up the stinkers.

* INSECURITY. I get it.You don't like yourself and while you have ample reasons to not like yourself ( kudos on tiny bit of smarts you have that allowed you to see,well,you ) please don't take it out on everyone else as difficult as it is to grasp,I had no hand in making you unemployed,divorced and balding.I did not fuck your wife,I know who did,I'll messge you the number but promise me that you will keep your insecurities out of my BLOODY view.They are small,ugly & greying,much like your penis after the war.I don't like you.I guess we have something in common NOW please DIE.

* MORE,MORE,MORE. The reasons are endless as endless as their needs.Maybe I'll list more WHYS later right now I don't feel like it.I have a beautiful nude girl in my bed.I will not nor do I want to live forever.I'm not sure when I'm going to drop dead because we can't even count on death anymore but I'm thinking sooner rather than later.I'm going to go grab her ass and kiss her neck.I might come on her tits or maybe just turn on my side and go to sleep.Stalk you later! (;

Lurve and Piss,
                        Alfred Huete
                   01 November,2010

P.S.
You all suck,I suck too I KNOW  but I suck a tad less than most of you,which if you really think about it,it's a deadening conclusion then again,so are YOU.

P.S.S.
How about those Giants?

the bible is holly holly

like the jews
I long to fuck a nazi doe
and I doubt I ever will
all this disco jive
some say I'm lucky
to be alive
the best christian girls
are forever wet
in  slow dives,
soft to pet.

- Alfred Huete

10.10.10

jessine hein is a lady

 

 i heard that

very little in life is ever tasted
i suppose
or
perhaps
every answer you have ever seeked
is
inside
ov a 17 year old girl
in
germany.

- Alfred Huete


10.10.10

she comes from a stockpile ov friendly fire

she said tell me your darkest secrets,
and she looked me,
in the dead ov my eyes.

and
I told her,
I doubt you want to know
and
she said,
I do.

her toes
caressing my lips 
singings
towards
our future.

we fucked
all night
and
had a
grand slam breakfast
come
morning.

- Alfred Huete

11 October,2010

Sarah Take Those Panties Off

Sarah take those panties off
What a view
What a view
Loving that pink
Slapping that ass
My faith,my mass
A  backdoor baptism
New found tourism
Some say butt I say ass
Fuck rhyming,
Black thigh highs are class
Sarah take those panties off
Sarah take those panties  off
Sarah take those panties off
What a view
What a view
What a view
Fucking that ass like I didn't give a fuck
Pulling your hair just for luck
What the fuck
What the fuck
What the fuck
XoXo
XOXO
Keep riding that ass
Keep riding that ass
Keep riding that ass
All night long feels so
Right,so tight
In some states sodomy is illegal
Maybe we should stop
Uh.Hell.No.
I love fucking like this
go take a  piss
BRB then let's kiss
Sarah take those panties off
Sarah take those panties off
Sarah take those panties off
What a view
What a view
Head down ass up
What a view
What a view
Now I'm feeling so inspired
Hold you down so desired
Bet you thought I was going to follow the above
with FIRED
O I just did
Love ya kid,
XOXO
going to bed,I'm so tired.

-Alfred Huete
20 October 2010

Beside Her Caress

Beside her caress
 Beside her caress
 I could never fall
 A single photo on her wall
 (beside her caress)
I went under her thoughts
I went under her thoughts
So curious under her
thoughts
soft screams,crowned,
blue
colour,blue
ages apart,true
Beside her caress
Beside her caress
My tongue follows her thoughts
beside her caress
A single sigh
beside her caress
should I
could I
beside her caress
beside her caress
screams the butterfly
clothes rips,hands tied
(no more discreetion)
beside her caress
A single teacher
(beside her caress)
besides her caress
it was so much more
it is so much more
keep me informed
keep me informed
all gods are deformed
besides her caress

Ages apart

fall into winter in a spring dress
under her caress
I follow her thoughts
follow her thoughts
follow her thoughts
sleep
beside  her caress.

- Alfred Huete

25 October,2010

amy,a parade not 23 but 38.

amy,a parade not 23 but 38.

 leave her alone
 she is not leaving
 you are not welcomed anymore
 you heard me,leave,just leave
 you missed your chance
 your state of grace
 your very soul

look inward,ask for ransom
fukk buddha
stop shaking
get smashed
get painted a deep,rich red
the blonde
the ball player
raven's last shot
stop laughing,nestle closer

just,WALK.WALK.WALK.

" you can't have her,dude,you're too full of shit "

WALK,just WALK.

amy spreads a parade
her touch burns gold
bathed in the light
of a number,number
38,

WIN.

- Alfred Huete
03 November 2010

gotta get got sick again

 Gotta keep her wet
gotta fuck all the time,you better,you bet
gotta stay hard as lead
gotta go south
gotta make peace with the teds
gotta make sure I don't fukk up again
got a guitar
got a lot of nerve
got little money
gotta go see verve
got a mailbox
got your letter
got a postcard
gotta get a stamp
got a feeling things are about to get heavy,champ.

-Alfred Huete
04 November,2010 ( 2004 was six years ago )

the son ov a bitch is finally free

 

I drink my coffe black
I'm not good at most things
but what I do well,I do very well
It promises me you will always come back
I don't like taffy,it's too sweet
I'm rarely hungry yet I eat
I prefer winter,I can't stand the heat
When I first saw you,I hit the streets
Carry your photo in my pocket
Such pretty skin,hair as red as a rocket
You could be in magazines
I'll clip your photos when I'm locked in
A thousand hours for evey sin
Nothing is really dear to me
Nothing is what I long to be
Nothing is God not even the sea
I sneeze,my eyes water
Watermelon flavored medicine
Cures anything,and seconds befoe I fall asleep
I hear my dead father sing.

Alfred Huete
12 October,2010

status

I'm going to kiss her eyelids,her lips,her chin,her neck,her very soul with all the colours that I breathe.And she is going to choke me as I bite her nipples as she moans I push her off the bed and enter her as some enter a war,with all the force of young soldiers,so sure,so just and none ov the convictions ov generals behind well guarded walls. - Alfred Huete

Thoughts ( some random ) on BULLYING.

 

 Some say bullying is something new or at least vastly different than in the " Good Old Days" that people did not kill themselves over bullying,they say they miss those times.




There were no such times, only times when you didn't hear of such things.I do feel it's a bigger problem than it ever was and it's only going to get MUCH worse.
This kind of shit could stop tomorrow. Holler all you like about rights and liberties, but much of the source of school bullying and poor educational quality, as well, incidentally, of the bloated cost, stems from what's called FAPE -- free and appropriate public education, required by law. Schools have little or no real power to actually remove trouble making and disruptive students. There are no teeth in the law that would hold PARENTS -- the REAL villians of these tragedies -- criminally and financially liable for the behavior of their children.
If a kid is an incorrigible bully, he's out, gone, FOREVER. If he is consistently disruptive or does not care about being educated, he's out. Not suspended. Not expelled(which is, in reality no more than long term suspension during which, in this juris diction anyway, schools are required to provide tutoring AT THEIR EXPENSE); his public education is OVER. If he wants schooling after that or his parents decide they don't want an ignoramus for a kid, they can choose some private educational option and pay for it themselves.
Incompetent parents who empower their kids to misbehave by raising hell at the school if a teacher so much as raises a voice to their little darlings would be told to leave the building and take their brat with them when they go.
Public education ought NOT to be a right. It's a responsibility and the greatest single asset of a full and contented life that there is. Until we stop treating it like an automatic result of breathing that can be ignored, abused, and shaped by anyone's whim with impunity, we will increasingly have to deal with what it has become -- the private reserve of adolescent thugs and fools in which civilized behavior is a liability and the law of the jungle is the only real authority.


Some say that if a person chooses to commit suicide because of bullying, that's that person's choice, no one else's that bullying is only a contributing factor but no one can be bullied to death.

I believe they can and quite easily. Events in the past have proved that anyone-- you, me, anyone, can be driven to do almost anything by psychological pressure. Techniques of "brain washing" like the so-called "Stockholm Syndrome -- nothing more really, than isolation in an environment where all stimuli seem to be controlled by one person, will eventually lead to that one person's total control of the victim who becomes completely devoted to his tormentor. Not might. Will.

And we aren't talking about professional methodologies applied by psychologists or torturers. We are talking about placing children in closed environments like the school from which they are unable to escape and in which they are continually in fear of harm or derision. If you don't think that situation is capable of causing ANYONE, potentially, to rather end life than continue it, then, simply, you have never been in it or you believe that chidren are somehow capable of mounting the same cognitive defenses against stress as a well balanced educated adult. They aren't. On the contrary, children are typically unsure of themselves and the world around them. They are used to relying upon others for their self image and their understanding of things: their parents, friends, AND school mates. Indeed, even adults typically require the acceptance by others of what they do and say. On my notes, some come to express themselves in order to have their views vindicated or agreed with by others, because we all need approval for what we do,IN VARIOUS DEGREES the same as a child.

Imagine, if you can, a world where everything you say and do is mocked, where everything you do is derided as a mistake or blunder, where any word you utter, any move you make, might lead to being beaten, where there is no escape, no one to help. No one, whether they succumb to it or not, is ever NOT seriously affected by such experience.
Grown strong men have killed themselves rather than face less severe situations. There are people who were victims of this kind of terror who would tell you, in fact, that LIVING with the psychological and physiological damage that it caused often made suicide seem like it would have been the better choice.
This wasn't "schoolyard taunts", this was pervasive full on bigotry and hatred Sure, the gay young man "chose" to kill himself, but, in his situation it was like choosing to jump out of a burning building; it was to him the best of nothing but bad alternatives. Until we are in that same situation, I don't see how we can fairly conclude anything else.



Some say bullying is a form of terrorism.

On that I'm not so sure. On one hand ,terrorism is based often on misguided political motives. Bullying is just plain meanness. Terrorists have some kind of cause or movement to strive for. Bullies are just getting their rocks off by intimidating people

On the other hand, terrorism is the use of violence and fear of violence to intimidate others. As such there is no difference between it and bullying. The terrorism some speak of is different only in it's larger scope. As such calling bullying a form of terrorism is spot on.

So,I suppose that is a topic for another day.At present,I'm simply not sure.




I would welcome your thoughts,as always.



Cheers,ABH
24 October,2010

Lazarus then Gold

Lost in the park

Find a stranger
A tourist in her own town
Ask a question 
Bury the clown
Her forehead wrinkles
I know that look
Walk back
Walk back
Walk back
Walk
Back
Walk
Back
Talk back
Walk back,
Turn the grey sky
Into every color
Cut the strings.

- Alfred Huete

20 Oct 2010

UNBORN,xxxc.

I saw her bones last night

I will never forget
that stained ivory
beneath
her pale pink skin
I also saw her soul
made flesh
standing over me
held up by her
soft feet,caged
in black vinyl high heels
bright as present
pastless
toes masked in
the futility
ov 1,000 caged tigers,
shadowless,without care,
displeased with God
sick ov poetry.

She drank my soul bloodles,
unbalnced
straight no chaser
our souls fluttering much like a black flame,
in a black house
flickering
as one our communion a wonderous thing,
my cock as far in her ass as tommorow
that lovely ass
our movements new hymns
her moans guide my force
her sweat on my belly
mine on her ass,
changing shape, changing directions
dripping with every thrust
down our thighs
tongues in tranced
eyes
shut,nigh
finally spent sheets
are pulled
we merge we deserve each other
all erect,moist,saved,

then,this

pasts made ov glass
doors too
lack ov air,lock ov hair
and ov course we make the rejects
tell us stories ov evictions
and ov Hunter S Thompson
ov sparse crowds
drowning in a riot ov a thousand strong
swung wrong,we are the rejects
we have been bled
held
 in rooms sans beds curtainless
 eyeless,with fog in our heads,
the cigarettes are lemon incest
execrating and mindful sending
 us reeling
 stopped
by the dullness ov their blades
O the tragedies ov recognition
swimming between the bend,
us so angry blue,
bend behemoth,
dance,dance,
dance...

We talked all night sometimes with words
sometimes by touch
sometimes in silence,

by sunrise we had been

unborn.

-Alfred Huete

23 October,2010